ITEX business of the week

Dear Valued Member,   Some special "fun" features this April Fool's Day that you'll not want to miss out on....from your friends at ITEX.    Enjoy your day! Featured Businesses of the Week Connect. Trade. Save Tuesday, April Fool's Day, 2014 FEATURING Gourmet Foods Menswear Pets Sports Academy Fishing Artwork Acting lessons Flying Lessons ITEX Contacts Douglas Dagenais:   Jackie Billings - Media  Mary Drews - Travel     Jamie Billings - Chicago MJ Thill - Minneapolis Kristian Calfee - Cleveland Karen Kelly-Chicago Mark Mitchell-Duluth Phil Domek -Minneapolis Bob Lind-Minneapolis Toll Free: 1-800-333-4909 General # 630-261-7040 Fax # 630-261-7001   National Marketplace www.itex.com Local Marketplace  www.itexmidwest.net   Spam; not just for your email!              Enjoy the rich, decadent taste of Spam at your next party or corporate function. We are offering cases of ten ouce cans for $2,500 ITEX each. Eighty cans of Spam come in each case. Spam never expires and your party guests will appreciate the extra effort you've taken to feed them well. Tums and Pepto-Bismol included. Ask about our Spam and Sardine special and save! Call  Mary Drews   Men's Girdles for all sizes          We all want to look slim. At ITEX, we realize its much more fun to drink beer and eat White Castles than it is to do sit-ups, so we're offering these girdles for the low, low price of $19.95 each. Guaranteed to make you appear 25 pounds slimmer or your money back. Gorge yourself without worrying about the repercussions of looking large. Contact MJ Thill How's your Llama Mama?             Have you dreamed of owning your own Llama? Larry's Llama Farm can help. Llamas come in brown, white or gray colors. As you know, there are multiple benefits of Llama ownership. Their hair is used to make the finest clothing in the world. There's nothing more beneficial to your garden than Llama droppings. Llamas are great with children, attractive and are low maintenance. Male Llamas are $3374 each. Femails are $3494.   Contact Jackie Billings  Professional Ladder Wrestling lessons             Learn to wrestle like a pro from ex WWF stars...'The Undertaker' and Mr. Perfect'. Lessons include the art of slamming your opponent over the head with a metal folding chari, smashing your opponent after jumping off the third rope, surviving a cage match and methods of bribing the referee. We can help with costume design and make up as well. Call to schedule. Contact Kris Calfee  Feeling Fearless? Swim with sharks...     Ready for the one time in your life that you'll be glad to be behind bars? This is Shark Cage Diving. A truly unique adventure into the warm pacific waters of Mexico will bring you up close and personal to the one species of animal no other animal tangles with...the great white shark. Bait not included...or necessary. Contact Mark Mitchell  Belly painting for the baby to be...    Do you have a baby on board? (or maybe you just look pregnant??) If so paint that bump with your own customized artwork. Send your message out to the world and be proud of that belly!  NOTE: Men's belly's now qualify for a 50% discount!  Contact Karen Kelly Don't try this at home...          Stop watching those explosions on TV. Now, you can do one up front and personal at the Stunt Ranch. Experience being blown up, or a real live shoot out. Bring the Camcorder because you'll only do this once. Call Phil Domek  Trapeze lessons!   You can be the life of the next party with your Trapeze. Don't worry about safety nets or wires, this is pure fun....just flying through the air. Contact Bob Lind ITEX is the leading marketplace for cashless business transactions in North America, processing more than $140 million in Gross Merchandise Value (GMV) annually between thousands of member businesses and our franchisees and licenses. Connect.Trade.Save.  |  www.itex.com Copyright © 2013. All Rights Reserved.

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